There is a Bravo channel phenomenon that has been sweeping the nation since roughly 2005. I am speaking of the "Real Housewives" franchise that originated in Orange County, California and spun-off into New York, Atlanta, New Jersey, Washington D.C. and now Beverly Hills. Like many, I watched fascinated with the wealth, the lifestyle, the catfights and this whole notion that they were representing a "real housewife". It's slowly growing old to me and somewhat ridiculous as we have now been exposed to this season after season, and now with the current RHoBH incarnation. Let's be honest. None of these ladies could honestly last for a day as a real housewife in my life. Let's try and picture Camille Grammer without her four nannies wrestling with my three boys. I'm giggling already at the visual of the first five minutes.
This real housewife has no servants. I know my kids names. I change diapers on three children. I plan and feed them three meals. EVERY DAY. It's (gasp) not all organic, because hey, it's a recession and we are on a (double gasp) budget. I make beds and do their own laundry right down to owning stock in Spray n'Wash for various boy stains that I treat myself. I lug two carts around the grocery store and Target to get the household chores and shopping done. One for the kids and one for the items. I am loathe to use a sitter most times, no one can do it better than my husband or myself - Nanny who? I am a champion at detangling curls and wrangling a child to cut their nails and clean their ears. I read a mean bedtime story and always remember to include voices.
I can play trucks, sing nursery rhymes, hide and go seek, pull wagons and build blocks with the best of them. I don't worry about breaking a nail and I gave up lipstick the day my oldest was born. I have to beg to find time to get my own hair done. I shop sales and hunt at end-of season for some ridiculous bargains and, yes, I am have been known to be a Maxxinista. There has been days we all play in pajamas until dinnertime when a fresh pair goes on post dessert. And there has been days the boys are the only ones I can manage to get dressed. My life sure did change when I had kids, and I chose it willingly, eyes wide open the entire way.
I clean my own house. I dust. I vacuum. I wash windows. I scrub showers and toilets. I spring clean, I fall clean. I in-between clean. I am my own house manager. All while holding down a full-time job.
Can the Real Housewives do that? This real housewife thinks not.
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